Funny Jokes

IT Joke A BGP packet walks into a bar. He rudely interrupts anyone talking to him, and says, “I only talk to my neighbors”. IT Joke A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and an IT guy are driving back from dinner. They drive up the hill and then down the hill. At the base of […]

Whats the Difference Joke Q: Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? A: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Whats the Difference Joke Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb. Whats the Difference Joke Q: Whats the […]

What Do You Call Joke Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? A: Tug-of-whore. What Do You Call Joke Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A: The PGA tour. What Do You Call Joke Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from […]

Chuck Norris Joke 1 Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris Joke 2 Chuck Norris sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. Chuck Norris Joke 3 According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, the Native American “Trail of Tears” has […]

The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly: “Um—ah—is Professor Johnson at home?” he asked, naming himself. “No, sir,” the maid replied, “but he is expected any moment now.” The professor turned […]

SYMPTOM FAULT ACTION Feet cold and wet. Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. Feet warm and wet. Improper bladder control. Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. Funny Beer Drinking Joke Submitted by Dave the Wave

The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman which he had seen in an art museum abroad. “And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But,” he added, with a tone of disgust, “those foreigners don’t know how to spell. The name of the statue was Posish’—and it was […]

“Tell me, does your husband snore?” “Oh, yes, indeed—so delightfully.” “What?” “Yes, really—he’s so musical you know, his voice is baritone, he only snores operatic bits, mostly Aida.”

The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some surprise, and remarked: “I see you are an admirer of Wordsworth.” “Who’s Wordsworth?” demanded the actor. “Why, that’s his picture,” was the answer, as the friend pointed. “That’s Wordsworth, the poet.” The actor regarded […]

The Scotchman who ran a livery was asked by a tourist as to how many the carryall would hold. “Fower generally,” was the answer. “Likely sax, if they’re weel aquaint.”