Animal Jokes

“Yes, ma’am,” the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, “I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg.” “Merciful providence!” his hearer gasped. “And what did you do?” “Let ‘im ‘ave the leg, o’ course, ma’am. I never argues with sharks.”

The little boy, sent to the butcher shop, delivered himself of his message in these words: “Ma says to send her another oxtail, please, an’ ma says the last one was very nice, an’ ma says she wants another off the same ox!”

The packer from Chicago admired a picture by Rosa Bonheur. “How much is that?” he demanded. The dealer quoted the price as $5,000. “Holy pig’s feet!” the magnate spluttered. “For that money, I can buy live hogs and——” His wife nudged him in the ribs, and whispered: “Don’t talk shop.”

Such a sad, but really funny thing to do to a cat. Makes me smile every time I see it :-) Funny Cat Image Submitted by Dave the Wave

The clergyman, absorbed in thinking out a sermon, rounded a turn in the path and bumped into a cow. He swept off his hat with a flourish, exclaiming: “I beg your pardon, madam.” Then he observed his error, and was greatly chagrined. Soon, however, again engaged with thoughts of the sermon, he collided with a […]