Warning, some of these jokes are not particularly nice, you’ve been warned.
Dead Baby Joke 01
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn’t harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Dead Baby Joke 02
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can’t fuck a table.
Dead Baby Joke 03
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Dead Baby Joke 04
What’s the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an axe.
Dead Baby Joke 05
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 06
What’s the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don’t kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Dead Baby Joke 07
What’s the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
It’s really easy to turn on a lamp.
Dead Baby Joke 08
What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Dead Baby Joke 09
What’s the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A watermelon floats.
Dead Baby Joke 10
What’s the safest way to play with a baby ?
With a condom.
Dead Baby Joke 11
What’s the worst thing about fucking a dead baby?
Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Dead Baby Joke 12
What’s white and bobs up and down in a baby’s crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
Dead Baby Joke 13
What’s white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snow blower.
Dead Baby Joke 14
What’s worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 15
What’s worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Dead Baby Joke 16
What’s worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.
Dead Baby Joke 17
What’s worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Dead Baby Joke 18
What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
Dead Baby Joke 19
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Dead Baby Joke 20
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they’re hand made.
Dead Baby Joke 21
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Dead Baby Joke 22
Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.
Dead Baby Joke 23
Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead!
Dead Baby Joke 24
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
Dead Baby Joke 25
Why did the toddler drop it’s lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
Dead Baby Joke 26
Why didn’t they crucify baby Jesus?
I don’t know why they didn’t either.
Dead Baby Joke 27
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
Dead Baby Joke 28
Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
To see the expression on it’s face!
Dead Baby Joke 29
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
Dead Baby Joke 30
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Dead Baby Joke 31
Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a still birth, soup.
More Dead Baby Jokes
These so called jokes wack as fuck and sick
All you people need to calm down and stop being overly sensitive. The jokes aren’t meant to be interpreted as if they’re actually happening. I guarantee that 98% of dead baby joke lovers would hate to see any of these jokes actually happen. People just enjoy the shock of reading the jokes. I don’t think anyone actually fantasizes about any of these things happening. They just get a good laugh at these. So calm down with comments such as “OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE JOKES, ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO CHUCKLED AT THEM NEED TO BE CUT OPEN AND HAVE ACID POURED INSIDE, THEY ARE SICK BASTARDS WHO NEED TO INCEST THEIR MOTHERS IN HELL”. Sit down, take a deep breath, and relax, kthxbi
that’s why it’s called a dead baby JOKE, as in, it’s something meant to be laugh at. A lot of you are taking these jokes way too seriously. These jokes aren’t laughed at because they’re actually happening, they’re laughed at because of the shock you receive upon reading them
aha i love these jokes . best out of all the other jokes… if you dont like these jokes what the fu** do you read them . it makes no scenes .
dead baby joke XD
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
why** lol
Q. What’s pink and bubbles?
A. A baby in a microwave.
The same people hating on dead baby jokes are also laughing at racist jokes and other things, that’s sad as fuck.
That’s not true. Racist jokes aren’t funny.
babies r so fuckin annoyin and they want me to fucking mash there head in
You are all sick motherfuckers why would you say such a thing you fucking cunts it is not a joke dead babies are not a thing to be laughed at my cousin had a hole in his heart when he was born I would hate anything to happen to him fuck you to all the paople that thought these jokes were funny stupid dickheadedbastards
If it’s so sick why were you on this site
Kill yourself m8, you are nothing but a stupid cunt. You make scrubs think they are 2 pro 4 you. Next time try drinking some Mountain Dew and eating Nacho Cheese Doritos m8. Jokes are jokes m8 and that means you have nothing but scrubs telling you they are 2 pro 4 you. The only cunts in this chat are you and all the other scrub lords saying baby jokes are bad m8. People aren’t actually doing these things to babies. If you didn’t have so many hater scrubs up your ass then maybe you’d understand your parents don’t love you m8.
I jacking off too as it burns in the microwave
meow
These jokes are so funny. I told these to several Christians and they think its funny. Lighten up guys. We’re not actually thinking about doing any sort of these sick things. I think 98% of all the people reading this wouldn’t even have a thought about doing such a thing. It is the fact that these jokes break the conventional sense of humor that shocks you. And it is hypocritical if you search up racist jokes, then call us sick and condemn us to hell. Just a bit extreme, don’t you think.